Do you notice a nagging voice in your head? You know, that chatterbox inside your mind that gives an ongoing commentary on everything and nothing at the same time? It’s that bossy voice that reminds you to eat when you’re hungry. It’s also the same judgmental one that says you better order salad because you’re fat. At times it could be indulging. It whispers that you deserve to eat that cupcake. Or, it sarcastically tells you not to bother because you’ll never reach your fitness goals anyway. It’s full of worries, criticisms and endless ramblings. Often it’s harmless but when this voice becomes too loud, it can take over. You can lose yourself in it. The best way to disarm this mindless chatter is through meditation. With practice, you can learn to calm your critical inner voice.
The critical inner voice is a delusion.
Listening to the meaningless ramblings of this voice can be very exhausting. One negative thought leads to another and then another. It can crush your self-esteem. It can slow down your progress because it casts doubt in all situations, criticizing you and everyone else. Buddhists call these negative thoughts “delusions” because it corrupts your beliefs and self-identity. But its worse crime of all? It robs you of peace of mind.
You are more than your thoughts.
The good news is that you don’t have to identify with this voice. These negative thoughts, like all thoughts, are fleeting. They come and go. They only stay because you let them. These thoughts are not real, unless of course, you allow them to be. You can choose this sneering voice or you can choose another way. There’s another path that is calm, clear and peaceful. It’s your real voice, obscured by all the doubts and all the chatter. With practice, you can calm your inner critic during meditation. This will pave the way to reconnect with your real voice and find peace of mind again.
Our mind is like a cloudy sky, in essence clear and pure but overcast by the clouds of delusions.
– Kelsang Gyatso, Buddhist Monk
10 Tips to Calm Your Critical Inner Voice
1. Do not judge
You may have revolting thoughts but who doesn’t? As pointed out earlier, you are more than this voice. You do not have to identify with it. Good thoughts or bad thoughts, it does not matter. When you judge your thoughts, you hold onto them. When you don’t, they simply pass through you. Coming from a place of non-judgment gives you a sense of ease, allowing you to settle in more quietly during meditation.
2. Do not analyze
This is how most of us ends up in a loop. Our minds are always trying to understand everything, weighing out the pros and cons. There is a time and place for analytical thinking and it is not during meditation. When a thought comes during meditation, just leave it where it is and it will likely float away on its own.
3. Do not fight
What you resist, persists. If you fight an unwanted thought, idea or sentiment, you will only get more of it. The more you fight, the more power it will have over you. Fighting is the exact opposite of meditation. Remember, we are seeking inner peace. If a thought keeps resurfacing during meditation, do not fight it. Instead, allow and let it pass.
What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.
–Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology.
4. Accept your thoughts as they are
You may say “not fighting” is one thing but accepting is another. Some thoughts are so dark we may deem them unacceptable. Remember, you are more than your thoughts. Accepting the inner ramblings in your head does not mean you identify with them. For example, you can accept someone else’s opinion without having to agree.
5. Observe your thoughts with interest
Be an observer of your own thoughts. This is an exercise of self-awareness. When you observe thoughts, you begin to understand the workings of your own mind. Pay attention to your reactions, without judgment. Be a silent watcher. Slowly you may understand the difference between the mindful observer vs. the mindless thinker.
Be present as the watcher of your mind – of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions. Whenever you are able to observe the mind, you are no longer trapped in it.
-Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now
6. Let emotions come
Sometimes a thought comes along with an emotion attached to it. These thoughts are stronger. Feel them in their entirety. Even if you think the feeling is negative. Always practice non-judgment. By allowing your emotions to come, you may also release them.
7. Focus on breathing
Meditation enhances concentration because part of the process is fading out the incessant voice. Once you’ve gotten past resisting and judging, continue meditating with a soft focus on your breath. Feel as the air expands your lungs. Similarly, feel the sensations as you exhale. Breathe deeply and mindfully. By being attentive to the sensations in your body, a wave of calm and clarity will surface and the critical inner voice will subside.
8. Imagine a feather
As you picture your thoughts coming and going, imagine softly brushing them off with a feather. You are neither resisting nor fighting. Rather, you are simply choosing another path in this moment. The image of a feather can be especially helpful for visual thinkers.
9. Focus on a single sound like om
There is a reason why yogis love chants and mantras. Focusing on a single sound, chant, mantra or prayer of your choice can be powerful. A simple and single sound like om can be enough. Say it repeatedly in any way that feels right to you. This may elevate your energy while displacing the inner critical voice.
10. Be present
This may be the hardest but most important tip of all. Being present means fully being in the here and now. Your mind is neither in the past or future but is deeply rooted in this very moment, just savoring the completeness of wherever you are. Where are you? You’re in the gap between your thoughts. The silence in between. The clear blue sky beneath the clouds. Nothing is lacking in this moment. It’s a state of being intensely present, mindful of your body and emotions yet completely free of mindless thoughts. Your peace of mind. It’s also that sweet spot Zen masters call satori – a glimpse of enlightenment.
What’s next?
Apply some or all of the tips above during meditation to see which ones work best for you. As you may notice, some of the tips can also be useful in various situations, not just for meditating.
If you’re already practicing meditation, that’s fantastic. You’re on the path to greater self-awareness. If you haven’t tried meditating yet, the tips should help you get started!
So, what do you think of the 10 tips above? Do you have your own tactic to stay focused during meditation? I’d love to hear your comments below!